Day Two: Release

 Water truck days are the things that make missionaries, missionaries. They're amazing. They are heart wrenching. They go exactly as planned and then not at all.

Mornings in Haiti start with breakfast that puts most farm kitchens to shame (I know these things. I come from generations of farmers). Breakfast? Went according to plan. And then we prayed that God would take the day and run with it.... ten minutes in? Tom said that just when we tell God how things are going to go, we are inviting Him to bring an eraser. We had some erasing on the day.

Erase One: We were supposed to go to the water truck and deliver the first truck of water right away. First stop? Elder's school. We brought suckers for the kids, supplies for the school, and toured the school. I'm so amazed by the commitment to education here. Haitians are so intent on providing the best possible opportunity for their children... the kids walk from their tin shanties in Cite Soleil to school. It's humbling and exciting to see their continued hope for more and different that they would instill opportunity with their children through education.

Erase Two: The changed trip to Elder's School was supposed to be to use the time needed to fix a flat tire on the water truck. That time turned into additional time on the side of the road at the turn for the water fill station.... that turned to time waiting at the fill station. The time was spent essentially in team building- talking, exploring the water truck station, watching the fill on each truck as it came through. I had joked, without knowing, that it isn't a trip to Haiti without a flat tire. It can happen easily from the condition of the roads we find ourselves on. I had wished to be wrong because it can be a quick fix or a longer process.

Erase Three: This is where the word release originated. Cite 17 was our destination. I mentioned "my kids" yesterday. I have this one kid I saw my first trip, was surprised with on my second trip twice and in two different areas. I have named him Max. I made the declaration that I would continue coming for as long as God would show me Max. Well.... December came and went without a Max sighting- even on the other teams that were down the rest of the month, or the subsequent months. Friday? My friend sent me a picture of him on someone else's shoulders. I thought... Well... maybe God said- you came back without Max last time... I thought I had let it go until I took a picture of another Haitian boy that looked just like him hoping upon all hopes it was "my" Max. I don't know why I love him. I don't know why he's my kid. He's never said a word to me. He just hangs on like I'm his momma and clings like a little boy will. Release. Learning how to release this little boy that I've loved in my mother heart for the past three years.... knowing God may never have us cross paths... To be honest? Hurts. Release. Release of all the plans that I've told and bargained with God on.... we're all guilty of doing just that- the panicked prayer of God if you do this, I'll pray more/go to church/give more/etc. Specifically with Haiti, that was my bargain- you provide Max and I'll be willing to be obedient to you, God.

Erase Four: A second flat tire. A missed water stop because of the delay. Erase.

Erase. Release. Release of emotion. Hearing of a child that died and we were exposed to a fresh grave site. The hurt of walking on garbage, knowing it is the same place they live in a tin shanty. I had conversation with a few people and just gave a hug saying that of all the places? That was a place to cry and have God break their hearts. It's hard to willingly recognize the magnitude of our abundance when you are walking on garbage. And yet? They pray for us in our abundance, knowing their reliance on God to provide is not a perspective most of America understands. They have a joy- to sing Glory to God standing in the midst of all we were surrounded with today. Could I do the same? Maybe for a day, two, a week, maybe a month. For a lifetime? I know the answer is no.... I need their prayers for my distrust based on lack of faith due to my abundance.

Release of the plan. God had something else in mind. Release of the laughter at times. The joy in the Haitian children especially. God teaches me something different each time I come, and for today, the lesson was in letting go. Part of our time together as a group was in worship tonight and one of the songs we sang/listened to was "Help Me Find It" by Sidewalk Prophets. Part of the song says "I don't know where to go from here; As long as I know that You are near; I'm done fighting; I'm finally letting go....If there's a road I should walk; Help me find it..." Release. God... You have Your work cut out... but I promise I'm going to try real hard.

Up an' at 'em!

Happy Tuesday!  

If you're at Guest House 2 and currently sleeping ... you won't be for long.  Lots of smiles, music, and laughter ... ready to go!  

While the house comes to life I'm enjoying the cool morning on the porch.  Taking in all of the sounds and smells.  Rained a bit overnight, so everything is cool and fresh.  I love it here.  Words cannot adequately describe how much.  Barely 30 days ago I was returning home from my first trip and sad for the not knowing of when I would be back.  And here I am again.  The last couple of weeks have been such a whirlwind of activity and excitement, and I am beyond thrilled.  Crazy.  That was my word for the last two weeks.  Crazy in so many ways.  All good.  The morning after I said a tentative yes to this trip, I woke up with "Here I am" running through my head.  "Hear I am, Lord.  It is I, Lord.  I have heard you calling in the night.  I will go, Lord, if you lead me.  I will hold your people in my heart".  I haven't heard that song in close to 20 years.  But here I am.  I am listening.  I will quietly watch while God's plan for us unfolds.    

Today is water truck day.  Three stops in Cite Soleil with a visit to Elder School during one of the refills.  Let's go!!!   

Team "DO SOMETHING" - Day One

Monday, March 24, 2014

Team "DO SOMETHING" made it to the Minneapolis International Airport bright and early today.  Everyone made it on time, everyone had what they needed, and EVERYONE (including me) was Super excited that this day had finally arrived.

The excitement and anticipation leading up to today has been like a spark being fanned into a BLAZING heart's FIRE!!!  God has brought all NINETEEN of us together, on this "Do Something" Team for a reason.  And, although we have an itinerary, that doesn't mean that we know how God is going to SHOW UP...and how God is going to work His plan in us and through our team!  It's Exciting, isn't it!?!  

I just HAD to blog about today before I allowed myself to go to sleep.  I'm the last one up in the guesthouse, and while it's still called "today" - I had to write about it.

Like I said, our "Do Something" Team is 19 in number.  That's a Great BIG team!!  And, you know what?  When God calls you out on the waters, to stretch your faith farther than you think it can go - He's gonna show up BIG time!!  So, we are collectively (at the Great leadership of Tom & Shelley Gacek) soooo looking forward to tomorrow, and the rest of the week, to see just how many Amazing "somethings" God's got in store!!!  

Sending our LOVE from Haiti,
Michelle Nelson
Team "Do Something"

P.S. - Yes, Estella and Hannah are safe...and happy to be in Haiti.  (To the Moms!)  ;)

Day One- Open

Back in January, my pastor had talked about finding a word for the year to focus on in how to seek out God, to find Him in Bible study, in prayer, in life in general. My word that I selected was trust. Trust to let go more of the kids I call mine that really He has entrusted me with-  to raise to love and honor Him, but are in all ways, His.  Trust in my work. Trust in making life in our little house work. Trust in how I was to go and be guided and called on the year. I have said for a long time that I have "controlled" trust in God- that I will move based on having my own back up plan in case....I laugh and smile now, knowing and realizing that perhaps my "controlled trust" is really just another possible defiance in the direction God had for me. But, I digress. Controlled trust.

I decided to go to Haiti, by the world's standards, on a whim. It was a month ago. On a Saturday night service at church. I was serving, and after talking about Micah 6:8 of doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God... talk of the global outreach at church.... Talk revisiting the fantastic night celebrating all God has done for Healing Haiti in the past year.... And Tom saw me, and asked if I wanted to go to Haiti. A conversation with the kids on a few occasions, and with confirmation from the kids that I should go to Haiti because "God wants you there if Tom asked you", I am on this team. Not because it was convenient. Not because I felt like it. Not because I wanted to just get away for a week. God provided such a plethora of signs in a single week that I found myself unable to do anything else but say Yes. If I'm wrong, God will still use me anyway.... but if I'm right and to not go? I'd rather be a fool for leaving on a perceptively worldly whim.

In each trip blog, I have to have the disclaimer my life is a running collection of a soundtrack as well as seeing the "perfect" picture to capture a moment that is generally insignificant. I randomly threw in Newsboys "Go" album over the weekend. Part of the chorus is "Go; From the top of the world; To the bottom rung; 'Til the work is done; I'm gonna send you...."  Go. Trust.... but they all lead to Open. Open to the crazy to leave kids I have guilt not seeing every day because we have a split family, sports, dance, and activities that keep us busy and away from the family time I had always envisioned. Open to the world's standard of crazy to come back to somewhere I was just at 3 months prior. Open more than anything else, to seeking and discerning the why. Why did God ask me to trust that the details would fall into place to leave. Why did God ask me to join a team that was already large- what can I offer when there are more capable, organized, and effective people in my eyes here? What am I to be taught in the week? What is God going to lead me to in coming? What area is going to be stretched and pulled to such significance that I'll never be the same? What happens if I don't see "my" kids? What happens if I get sick for the first time on the fourth trip? What happens if God finds a different way to break my heart wide open? And in all the questions-- where it the prayer for trust? Where is the giving up and trusting in all circumstances rather than just the space of "I did my part. You do yours.? It's the glorious unknown that gives sometimes such a scare that there is no other option but to simply act as led by God.

Open. Go. Trust. Do Something. It as if God is saying "I created you... to Go from the top of ht world to the bottom rung, til the work is done, I'm gonna send you.... to do something."

Dear friends. Watch out. God is definitely going to do something on a team of 19.

Monday, September 30th, 2013, 6:15a.m.  "34 Suitcases"  Jim Crandell
As I start out on my 1^st mission trip, writing my thoughts while taxiing on a bumpy tarmac at MSP I can’t help but wonder how big the bumps are going to be the rest of the way.  Taking off now.  Wheels up.  Normal turbulence.  Already the lights of the city look like the lights on a Christmas tree.  I’m going to nap…No nap.   I look out the windows on the left side of the plane; purple, orange, pink, a hint of blue with strings of clouds make up only a portion of the beautiful sunset He has given us today.  Left my seat and came back to what looks like snow covering the ground; a fresh snow.  We are above the clouds.  I tried to nap, just rested-that’s okay.  Looking out now, ‘Oh how I wish you could see the clouds above the clouds above the clouds- it’s like looking at the bottom-side of icebergs.  There is so much to clouds than what we see from the ground.  The ‘underside’ of these clouds-the part we don’t get to see everyday  look like…hmmm, okay, bear with me; picture  springtime, the snow is melting but slush is still on the roads, cars are driving through creating small piles here and there with bare road in-between.  Then it freezes overnight, that is what it looks like right now.  Now the sky below is half cloud, half.                                                                                                                                                               blue-ish, with a darker blue above.  205 miles to MIA, captain just spoke for the first time, “out of respect for the early hour and for those passengers who wanted to sleep.”  Starting our descent.  Now I can make out what the blue-ish color is; the Gulf of Mexico.  I saw the white wake of 2 boats, which means we are getting close… “Flight Attendants, prepare for landing.” Coming through low clouds giving us a bumpy ride.  The clouds look like white, fluffy cotton candy.  Landed at 10:18a.m., and at the gate at 10:34a.m.

I am trying to remember the images of the neighborhoods around MIA, houses, cars, swimming pools, trees.  How different will all this look after seeing Haiti?  I’ve seen pictures, heard stories, just haven’t experience first-hand.  Long layover.  Had lunch at a Nathans’ Famous.  Was asked by the two employees (boy/girl at the front counter what my shirt (Healing Haiti) was all about because they see them every week.  I quickly explained as it was lunchtime, then the girl “Edia” smiled and said she was from Haiti.  She has family there and in Miami.  She hasn’t been home in 5 years but will as soon as she can afford it.  A nice little chat from only ordering lunch.  I can’t wait to see what God has in store.

Monday, September 30th, 2013  6:15 a.m.  "34 Suitcases"

MIA-PAP:  Wheels up at 2:17p.m. , 4 cruise ships docked and un/loading, 3 oil ships.  I am watching the sand give way to deeper water, and notice a sailboat that is out in the ocean quite a ways.  I see a large boat, nets (buoys and all), and a large, VERY LARGE form in the water.  I can see a big white patch on it-whale?  A little while later, I see a small island (‘C’-shaped), in the middle of nowhere with an airstrip on one end. (?!)  The water is turning green…now it’s turquoise.  WOW!  We are at 25,000 feet climbing to a cruising altitude of 32,000 feet.  Beautiful waters of the Caribbean; beautiful clouds overhead.  The flaps go down, signaling the start of our approach at 3:36 p.m. Now I see many nets in the water and countless dark forms moving in one direction- Tuna?   We came out of the clouds over Haiti- rough terrain, well-worn roads and paths.   I also notice a tiny island, just sand (think of a typical deserted island in a comic strip), and there on one side is the outline of a rowboat.  It would be fun to make up a story as to what happened.  The wheels go down at 3:50p.m.  We land and continue to the end of the runway, turn around at a small turn-around point to the side and taxi halfway down the same runway to get to the terminal.  A small airport, as it only has 4 jetways, and its Air Traffic Control is a modified mobile home.  We get to the gate at 3:57p.m.   I am now in a foreign country.  We get stuck at Customs, detaining Jeff for some reason.  I’m waiting with the rest of our team to get to our final destination.  While we wait for Jeff, we get our 34 suitcases full of supplies into the back of two pickups; a separate ‘TopTop’ is here to deliver us to our home-away-from-home.   4 of us decide to ride in the back of a pick up, “to make sure no one takes the bags.”  Jeff is here, let’s go!  It is a VERY different feel as we pull out onto the busy road.  Busy here is all the time, pedestrians DO NOT have the right-of-way; 1^st are semi’s or buses, then box truck-converted-to-open-standing-only-bus, then trucks (toptops), then cars, motorcycles, bicycles, pedestrians in that order.  Think Nascar at Bristol with the game Frogger thrown in, only the frog here is the pedestrian.  What am I doing in the back of a pickup in the middle of a Nascar race in a foreign country?  Making memories, I guess.   

Oct 1st, Water Truck Day: Lucy Gray

Water truck day. 3 stops. At the first stop I was so afraid when I was in the “tap tap” (our truck). But As soon as I stepped off the truck, I felt fine. Kids; all ages, tiny toddlers, babies, older kiddos just swarmed us. They are desperate for you to hold them and just touch them.

I've never felt the feeling of such desperation from a child. The moment was overwhelming. You can't hold enough kids I was holding two at time as much as possible. The water is flowing from the truck and the women and kids are lined up with buckets. They are so desperate for clean water. The kids carry the buckets back to their "home" which consists of a couple pieces of tin and stacked garbage. At each stop, a child would "choose" me to love them, can you believe that? They cling to you and climb you, they want love so badly. I can't imagine needing love or touch so desperately that you will cling to a complete stranger. 

Most of the kids are suffering from extreme malnourishment. Their bellies are bloated and eyes are yellow. I was told the kids with orange hair are dying. So my heart would sink when I saw a little with a head of orange hair. The tiniest toddlers, wander the streets naked or with the filthiest, tattered clothes, nobody watches them, nobody holds them, there is a sadness in their eyes I have never seen. I don't think I can ever explain how I felt. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. 

We walked throughout the streets while we waited for the water truck to be refilled and the kids all followed us. We walked through some of the worst areas; trash, filth, pigs, goats, chickens, broken glass, feces, rotting food, you name it...we stopped in a small clearing and all got in a circle.

Wilson, one of our Healing Haiti staff translators, started singing and all the kids started singing "God is so good", they were all smiling and singing and dancing, almost like they forgot for a second what their reality is. My heart almost stopped. The memory of the kid’s faces is burned in my brain.

Healing Haiti "Crazy Eights" Day 3 - Church, Gertrude's & General Hospital

Today we went to church early in the morning, then to Gertrude’s orphanage for special needs, and finally spent the afternoon at General Hospital in downtown Port-au-Prince.

Church was amazing. The building/nice warehouse they have for church is much nicer than the tent they used to have (so I’ve heard). There was an elderly woman that saw a couple of our team members she recognized and squeezed her way through every row to hug every member of our team.

At Gertrude’s, I saw quite a few children I recognized. One child was an absolute doll on our last trip, so I went straight for her and held her close the entire time. The other highlight from Gertrude’s was seeing one girl that screams out of joy when she goes on the swing-set. Other team members remember her as their highlight. It’s amazing to see that we can bring so much excitement and happiness to their day.

Lastly, we went to General Hospital. I’d never been here before, though I’d been to the Home for Sick and Dying Children before. This was more devastating. We walked into two rooms of cribs lining the walls with skin and bones malnourished kids and exhausted mothers sleeping underneath, or sitting next to the cribs.

We had diapers, hospital gowns, and wipes to give out, which mothers gladly accepted. However, we found another room later and we only had Band-Aids left. There were kids that were in worse condition, with no family around them. Three of these kids clearly had special needs and another was an abandoned 3-4 week old that the parents didn’t want because his feet were turned in.

I broke down and wept over the special needs children that’s skin was barely clinging to their bones. All I had left was Band-Aids and they would do nothing for these children that were fighting for their life. I felt so helpless, but know that there’s more that can be done to help these kids that are abandoned or near death.

Tomorrow we’re headed to tour Grace Village, visit the elderly living in Titanyen and go to Isaiah’s orphanage. I’ve never been to Isaiah’s, so I’m excited for that new experience.

--Kaytie Z